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Finding the Gift in Pain

Finding the Gift in Pain

Want to know the one simple writing exercise that helped me find the gift in pain and transformed the way I looked at life? Then keep reading, lovely.

Victimised to Empowered. Self Hatred to Self Compassion. Anger to Gratitude. Confusion to Clarity.


I believe we are exactly where we are supposed to be. I also believe we experience certain things for our spiritual growth. They make us who we are, and bring us to where we need to be.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

I didn’t always believe this. Actually, not only did I not believe it, it made me angry when other’s said it. I thought they had no idea what they were talking about. That they must have never experienced real pain. It wasn’t until I was given a simple writing exercise by an amazing coach that turned my theory on its head. When I first did this exercise I was fighting with resistance. I felt sick even thinking about it. After actually doing the work though, I found a deep sense of gratitude where before I only felt pain, hurt, shame and anger.

I decided to write about being raped on a holiday in Sri Lanka. This is my own personal realisations and my personal lessons. I would never say this to anyone else, as all situations are different.

What did I discover? What was my lesson?

♥ To always listen to my intuition. This is a big one. My intuition was screaming at me, but I ignored it. I now follow my intuition unapologetically.

♥ To surround myself with people I trust and to choose my friends wisely. Super important.

♥ That I am stronger than I thought.

♥ The importance to choose love over fear.

♥ That you can’t trust everyone. There are some ‘bad’ people in the world.

♥ “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” (Maya Angelou) I live by this now. I had previous warning signs and ignored them.

♥ That I am responsible for myself and my life. No one’s going to ‘save’ me.

♥ That I need to take care of myself, value and love myself because people treat you how you treat yourself. I wouldn’t have done what I did, if I had a strong sense of Self Love and Self Worth.


What was the gift?

♥ I only have great friends. I got rid of all toxic relationships and feel so much lighter.

♥ I stopped binge drinking and hurting myself.

♥ For the first time I started dating (later marrying) someone who cherishes me.

♥ I now value my body so much more.

♥ Looking back it was a big fork in the road. My life completely stopped and I was forced to change direction. I had put myself in similar dangerous situations before. This was the Universe telling me to ‘stop!’. I am eternally grateful with the road I took because it brought me here, talking to you!

♥ I wouldn’t be where or who I am today without this experience.


Your Turn!

Think about something you beat yourself up for in the past. The thing you kick yourself for doing (or not doing), or don’t quite understand why it had to happen to you.



It might take some time to discover the lesson and see the gift. Be gentle with yourself. Feel what you need to feel and when you’re ready you can dive deeper into the lesson. It’s okay if it takes time for the gift to pop up to the surface.

I would love to hear in the comments below about one of your life’s biggest lessons. Maybe it’s the lesson someone else needs to hear today.


22 Responses to Finding the Gift in Pain

  1. Wow Morgan, let me first say thank you for sharing your story – so moving and so to the point. Life sends us these things and the emotion and pain is so overwhelming that to continue on shows immense strength and courage. How very courageous and loving of you that you have found the gifts in there and then shared your findings to help others. I am inspired by your light and love.

    • Thank you so much Lisa, your words mean a lot. My hope is that someone will find this post and realise they’re not alone and it does get better.
      I love your blog by the way. :) xx

  2. Morgan,

    What a beautiful, heartfelt, uplifting post. So beautiful and inspiring to find the silver lining and use a horrible experience to learn how beautiful, powerful and worthy you truly are. Thanks for sharing!

    P x

  3. All of the things you listed sound like a woman who is strong in self-love. What a beautiful way to turn pain into something positive. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring to read that a life changing event has helped you be the person you are today, for the better :)

  5. So beautiful of you to share this, it makes me thing about all the things I want to teach my sons and my daughter to value about themselves, and others, so that they don’t find themselves in similar dangerous situations. I think it’s amazing that you’ve been able to find the “silver lining” to this devastating experience in your life. Thanks for sharing.

    • I’m glad you liked it, Angela, and it got you thinking.
      It is so important we teach our children to value themselves, and realise their self worth and be compassionate towards others.
      Thanks for the comment, xx

  6. I was extremely touched by your story and the bravery you showed in delving in and coming up with lessons. You have gotten me thinking and inspired me. Much love to you!

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